Live your life by what people will say about you at your funeral

If you die tomorrow, how will you be remembered?

It’s been far too long since my last blog post. Truth be told, I’m not a blogger but in all my crazy antics this year. I seem to be inspiring a few people, so let me try write about it.

If you’re 20 something and reading this. I encourage you to look long and hard at what interests you and see where you would like to make a difference before you have a midlife crisis. Just because you feel invisible now, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start thinking about the impact you will make in your lifetime.

If you’re 30 something and reading this. You should be  ready to make a difference if you’re not already. You too can make an impact, so now is the time to start making a positive change. Choose two (or more) charities and pour every cent you raise into them. Check out my previous post to see how I chose my two.

If you’re 40 something and you’re reading this. You may have a long forehead that starts at the back of your head, a beer belly, girls might not find you attractive anymore, you’ve bought a Porsche to compensate. Or you may just feel like you’re in a rut. I am talking directly to you. You should be thinking about others and not just yourself.

Two events that happened this year cemented my reasoning as to why I am determined to live my life by what people will say at my funeral.

I lost my Mum in February to cancer. She was a massive influence in my life. She force fed me the “power of positive thought” from a young age which made me an eternal optimist and the man I am today. For that I will be eternally grateful. My Mum was 68.

I also lost a good mate last week. Keith was my tenant in my granny flat for eight years and he has moved in when my second daughter was three months old. Keith was only 63 but lived a full life of sex, drugs and rock and roll but was also a really positive mentor in my life. He had a humble and carefree attitude to life that was as rare as a snakes’ armpit.

The impact of both these deaths was massive, but it has brought out some new perspective which I would like to share with you.

“Live your life by what people will say about you at your funeral.”

With this thought in mind I’m committing to doing more and making more of a difference which will be tough as my teams and I have had an amazing year. More about that later.

Progression. A simple word. I think about it each day. How am I going to be better today than I was yesterday? We could be like a selfish politician who’s interested only in filling his pockets and not benefiting all the voters who voted you into power. But I promise you, in giving you shall receive way more than receiving.

In the last two years since joining the Cows I feel I have achieved a lot but need to take stock and see how I can progress and make more of an impact.


  1. Celebrated 20 years with my wife this year and she still loves me.
  2. Remained married and faithful to my wife of 13 years in tough times.
  3. My company turned 10 years old.
  4. I have two amazing daughters who are thriving in sport and school.
  5. Total distance cycled, swum and run in competition: 1803,5km
  6. Total raised directly from 2013-2015: R200 000.
  7. Total raised by KZN Herd in 2015: R600 000.
  8. Rode 106km Amashova on an Ice Cream Bike.
  9. Rode 94.7km Momentum Cycle Challenge on an Ice Cream Bike.
  10. Finished Ironman 70.3 taking 50 minutes off previous best time.
  11. Finished the 42.2km Deloitte Marathon.
  12. Honored by Rotary Umhlanga for my charity work.
  13. Honored by The Cows as the top individual fund raiser for 2015.

In essence I think what I’m trying to say is:

  • Stay true to yourself.
  • Make clear cut goals.
  • Be selfless and not selfish.
  • Keep stock of achievements and set bigger goals all the time.

Prepare yourself for some cliches.

  • Surround yourself with winners and you too will become a winner.
  • Life is short.
  • Get a life.
  • Get a new lease on life.
  • When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.
  • Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
  • Life’s a bitch.
  • Life’s a beach.

These are all so true and need to be lived and not just preached. At the end of the day, your life is exactly what you make of it.

My teams I alluded to earlier are my secret to success. I owe everything to them.

Firstly my wife is extraordinary. The very best mother to my kids. My partner in crime who puts up with all my crazy antics.

My business partners and PA are gold too. Without their support none of this would be achievable.

The KZN CHOC Cow Herd are some of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Selfless human beings indeed.

Next year’s goals are even bigger, in fact I’ve declared it The Year of the Family, so I’ll be doing Midmar Mile with my eldest, Tour Durban on a tandem with my wife, 100 miles to nowhere with the whole family, Gabran with both my daughters and Amashova with the whole family on tandems.

If you’re interested in becoming a cow or getting involved please mail me on or merely make a comment.





I went to a strip club …… and I haven’t ridden a donkey before either #justsaying

More hilarity from the Reluctant Mom

I have never been to a strip club.  I have also never had an STD nor have I ridden a donkey.

I figured as we were going into things I had not done, we would cover a few.  Jump in at any point and let me know stuff you have not done.

I sometimes get an idea into my head that usually starts with me saying things like “come on, lets go to XYZ, it’ll be fun …. you will see ……….”

It is seldom is fun, even I realise that 15 minutes in, but I hang in there when quitters quit.  Me being a winner and all.

Saturday night, I decided I needed to go to a strip club. Not a strip club where boys strip.

Listen if that is what you do for fun, a hobby or for a living, then all the power to you.

I am…

View original post 1,143 more words

Why giving is better than receiving

Living in England for seven years among such wealth and opulence certainly didn’t prepare me for my return to South Africa. With millions living below the poverty line, our public medical system being stretched beyond limits and disabled people not being helped by government or society.

Feeling overwhelmed I made it my mission to find two charities and pour my efforts into raising money for them rather than dilute my effectiveness across the board.

My two chosen charities are and but more about them later.

In my humble opinion if you are going to try and help a charity then you should.

  1. Do your research and make sure they need help. Some charities are drowning in cash and the people running them are taking masses of cash to run it therefore a small percentage gets to where it should.
  2. Will your help make a difference, or will your money disappear into an abyss.
  3. Is the difference measurable? Can you quantify how your money or donations are helping where needed.

To elaborate on these 3 points I am only speaking from experience where I recently heard a lady was paying herself R2 Million a year and a minuscule amount of the donations were actually benefiting those who she was meant to be helping.

cowsCHOC Logo_R_2010_FC (2)

35 years (and counting) of keeping more than hope alive CHOC Childhood Cancer Foundation was established in 1979 as a support group to parents of children with cancer, by parents of children with cancer. Having experienced the immense emotional and financial toll that cancer takes they recognised there is more than one victim in the family of the child with cancer. Their aim was to ease the burden on parents facing the same journey by providing access to relevant, accurate information, as well as emotional and practical support. From the onset CHOC provided support in the hospital wards, hence the name Children’s Haematology Oncology Clinics, or CHOC. Gradually parent groups were set up in other key centres, where the major state-funded academic hospitals are located and paediatric oncologists practice. In 2000, these regional entities merged into a national organisation. CHOC now has a head office in Johannesburg, six regional offices, two branches, and 13 accommodation facilities close to treatment centres. With occupancy steadily increasing our budget for maintenance and running costs of the accommodation facilities in 2015 will amount to R7.132 million, with each facility costing over half a million and we have a total capacity of 66 030 bed nights per annum. We do not receive funding from government but rely heavily on donations from caring corporates, individuals and parents of children with cancer. Funds raised are used to provide all-encompassing support – from direct practical help to the children and their families and those involved in the treatment – to necessary equipment. Our Vision
To be the leading organisation in childhood cancer and life-threatening blood disorders. Our Mission
Supporting children with cancer and life-threatening blood disorders, and their families; improving early detection and facilitating effective treatment. Our Goals
Five goals guide us on our mission:
• Support individuals, families and communities in the treatment of children with cancer
• Advocate early diagnosis and access to specialist treatment centres
• Create financial and project sustainability in all regions
• Communicate effectively to improve all relationships
• Attract, retain and grow talent Our Values
Our values provide the foundation from which we can achieve our goals. They are:
• Engaging and caring
• Trusted advisor and confidant
• Integrity beyond reproach
• Teamness and togetherness


Ethembeni School is based in Cato Ridge and has 400 kids who are physically disabled or visually impaired. They survive on just about zero assistance from the government and rely massively on donations as all of the kids come from previously disadvantaged backgrounds.

Here are a couple of ways you can get involved.

Adopt a child is a project that is ongoing.  Most of our learners are from rural areas and a big percentage of their parents are either unemployed or deceased or have many mouths to feed and therefore cannot pay the hostel fees for their children, hence the project.
Education is necessary and knowledge is power and therefore we feel that all children need to be educated.
To raise funds for those not be able Fees :     Adopt  – a – Child Project. 20 Children @ ZAR 7500
How can you help?
Donate online – R7500 enables 1 learner to stay in the boarding school every year
You can donate by clicking here:


Braille improved communication for the blind by giving them a quick and efficient way to read and write .

The Blind Students of Ethembeni School are in need of new Braille Machine to enhance their Educational Career.

I will be competing in the inaugural Hand cycle event in the 2015 Chevron Houston Marathon to race funds for these machines.

You can donate by clicking here:

In essence, you can never lose by giving. So go ahead. Choose two charities and pour your heart and soul into them and see how much you gain by giving.

New glasses for the needy – a new initiative.

How could you not help this man?

How could you not help this man?

Meet Wimpy. He’s a 52 year old car guard at Blue Lagoon.

I met Wimpy one morning when I was taking my hand cycle off the back of my truck, he asked me why an able bodied man had a disabled person’s bike. I told him I was planning on riding a the Momentum 94.7 cycle challenge on the hand cycle to raise money for Ethembeni school for the physically disabled and the visually impaired. (

He immediately introduced me to two regulars in the car park and then asked how he could help me. So a man who can’t rub two brass farthings together would like to help me raise money for the needy? What a Champion.

Wimpy is blind in his left eye and by his estimations has 60% vision in his right eye. He earns between R50 and R120 a day working his car park and he cannot afford to see an optometrist or buy a new pair of glasses.

Luckily, my mate Glenn Nugent who is an optometrist and says he can help Wimpy out. Nugent Family Optometrist ( of Durban North told me, all it will cost is R800 for a new pair of bifocals for Wimpy and he will waiver the consultation fee as he would like to help out.

Thanks to Rich and Cheryl Clacher (aka @ApothecaryRich and his wife @LadyD_Toiger) we have raised R500 and I’ve decided to throw in the additional R300 and get Wimpy some new glasses.

On the 26th of May we returned to Nugent Family Optometrist for the fitting.


Look at the elation on his face.

trying them on

Glenn doing the fitting

seeing for the first time in a longtime


thanks Glen, Cheryl and Rich

Seeing and feeling like a champion.

I don’t think it should end here.

Do you know anyone who also deserves a little lady luck? If so please could you send me a mail to and explain why you think they deserve glasses.

The Cows

In 2008 a mother and father in Johannesburg lost a beautiful little girl to a disease that is affecting us all. Yes, the big C. They decided to turn tragedy into a triumph by raising some money for CHOC (Childhood Cancer Foundation of SA). they planned to ride the Momentum 94.7 Cycle Challenge in some kind of outfit and get people to sponsor them. All they could find were 6 cow suits.

And so The Cows were born. Last year we had around 500 cows riding the 94.7 cycle Challenge and we’ve collectively raised over R21 million.

I was introduces to the cows in July 2013 by a Delene Mulley who’s faught her own battle with cancer and won. Sadly she lost her sister in the middle of fighting her battle.

Since then I have been fortunate enough to have raised in the region of R150 000 directly or indirectly for CHOC completed a  Half Iron Man distance triathlon, a few half marathons, many MTB races and we’re turning Amashova, Tour Durban and Midmar into fully fledged Cow events.

The cows are the most amazing buch of selfless human beings. Iris, Lauren and Julia Varty, Ian Prentis, Lauren Brown, Lynne MacRae, Delene Mulley, Cliff Pinto, Deon van Niekerk, Michael van Niekerk, Kerrin and Grant Bain, Daisy aka Karen DeBeer and many many more.

We ride,we run, we mountain bike, we triathlon, we swim but most of all we have fun whilst FUNdraise for

Next on the agenda is the Tour Durban on an ice cream bike. What the local media for updates

If you’d like to change your life and give some hope please call me or mail

A dedication to my Mum.

Margaret Joan Mary Reid 9-1-1947 – 18-2-2015

When you become a parent it becomes glaringly obvious how important good parenting is.

You not only realise your role is to mould this young mind into someone who is capable of surviving in the “big bad world” but also quickly realise how well your parents did helping prepare you.

Being blessed with two such parents and a stable family unit was simply the best gift I could ever have wished for.

My Dad taught me unconditional love, humility, honesty, generosity and the power of hard work amongst a myriad of other life lessons.

My Brother Roger whom I love and respect above most people told me a Dr Seuss quote. “Don’t be sad it’s over, just be glad it happened at all.”

This has really rung true with me. I really feel blessed we had this beautiful person in our lives who imparted so much knowledge and love and I’m proud to say, “Mum made me the man I am today”

Mum taught me so much with her zest for life, love of sport, selflessness, generosity, appreciation of a large extended family, amazing far ranging recipe’s for any meal or occasion, raucous dinner parties, always to support the underdog, and great general appreciation of being put on earth.

The biggest gift Mum gave me was the understanding the power of positive thought. She drummed it into us as youngsters. She turned me into an optimist so even in her passing I’m looking at the silver lining. The lessons we’ve been taught are priceless but also need to be taught to the next generation.

My heart is warm knowing how much you loved Simone, Amy and Erin and how much they loved you. Always involving them in preparing a meal or just cooking fudge for them and letting them lick the bowl. Those memories will never fade. In fact, Amy is convinced you’re in heaven running the canteen with Eric as your sidekick and making fudge for everyone.

Mum achieved a lot in her time, besides bringing up 3 mischievous sons, making beautiful cakes, running a very successful catering business she also decided at 26 to take up squash and made a massive success of that. She played provincial squash for 3 different provinces and made countless friends for life.

What was made abundantly clear in Mum’s last few days with us, was how many people’s lives she touched. Her legacy is truly staggering. It was incredibly special reading her all the messages of love and support coming from every corner of the globe. For this I say thank you. “Mum you’re sorely missed, we loved having you in our lives. Most of all “Thank you” for everything you ever did for us.’

The void we have left in our lives is filled in the love, knowledge and outpouring of generosity you showed during your time with us. May you Rest in Peace now with our beloved Eric.”

I’d just like to end off with a quote: A person’s true wealth is the good he or she does in the world. Mohammed

Why Midlife Crisis 101?

Because it is good to have a midlife crisis. This is why.

So you wake up one day and take stock.

You’re 40 something, married with 2 kids, house, a business,  2 cars, 3 dogs, expenses coming out of your ears, you’re an orphan and you’re out of shape.

FUCK! How the hell did I get here?

What do you do? Go and buy a convertible Porsche and show everyone your bald patch? Divorce seems very popular now a days or even having an affair.

Having a midlife crisis isn’t a bad thing but it is a good time to take stock of your life and institute the changes necessary to make you happy and stay happy.

The truth is you were there all along. Making all the decisions and happily letting life pass you by but now you’re here and not particularly happy with where you are. You’re not that carefree 20 something anymore although you feel that way but now you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Let’s rewind a little.

I lost my Dad suddenly to a Heart attack 9 years ago which was a massive shock. He was fit and relatively healthy, never drank or smoked but literally worked himself to death trying to give his family everything he thought we wanted. I know the Cholesterol levels are in my genes so I know I need to control this before I suffer a similar demise.

My Mum passed away one week ago but thankfully left me furnished with life skills and optimism to know I can overcome anything in life. Hopefully this might inspire one or two of you to do some soul searching and do the same.

These two events have made me single minded enough to make sure this midlife crisis doesn’t get the better of me. My Mother always taught me to do things to the best of my ability so this midlife crisis is going to be done the best of my ability.

The plan:

This is imperative, if you fail to plan you plan to fail. I’ve identified 5 key areas which I want to strive in. Yours might be different. Here are some of mine as examples of where I believe there is room for improvement in my life.

1.)    Spending more quality time with my kids and getting them to share my love for exercise.

2.)    I want to make sure I remember why my wife and I fell in love in the first place and keep the love strong.

3.)    My business has to earn me enough to enjoy the finer things in life.

4.)    Live by how you will be remembered when you’re gone.

5.)    Raise as much money and awareness for my two chosen charities. (more about this later)

 The pitfalls:

It’s important to identify the pitfalls to make sure you don’t fall into these traps.

1.)    Procrastination.

2.)    Lack of clear goals, vision and route map on how to get there.

3.)    Staying in your comfort zone.

4.)    Complacency.

5.)    Not making enough time for yourself.

Setting goals:

Small short term goals are just as important as BHAG’s(Big Hairy Audacious Goals)

1.)    Goals need to be concise, specific and measurable

2.)    Goals need to be fluid so you can change them of circumstances change.

3.)    Set short term goals first (1-6 Months)

4.)    Then set your medium (6 Months – 3 years)

5.)    And lastly where do you see yourself in 5 and 10 years time.

The last thing you want it to wake up in 10 years time and think, “FUCK how did I get here?”

The vehicles:

By vehicles I mean how you’re going to reach your goals and achieve what you set out to do in the first place. Here’s how I will be making changes for example.

1.)    Sport – Identify sports you and your kids can enjoy together.

2.)    Make sure you plan some alone time with your significant others.

3.)    Solid business plan for the year and identify where your energy is best spent.

4.)    Spirituality is important to me and not religion. Identifying books and courses that can help is imperative.

5.)    Giving is far more rewarding than receiving.

You can follow my journey and hopefully identify with it and make the move to happy again.